17 February 2008
We interupt our regular reports to bring you the following public service announcement:
Agenda for the 2008 Democratic National Convention
(Just Released)
7:00 pm • Opening flag burning
7:15 pm • Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N. (In Spanish)
7:20 pm • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm • Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm • Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm • How I Invented the Internet – Al Gore
8:15 pm • Gay Wedding – Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm • Our Troops are War Criminals – John Kerry
9.00 pm • Saddam Memorial Rally – Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm • Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund – Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm • Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay – Sean Penn
11:30 pm • Oval Office Affairs – William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm • How I became the first black President – by William Jefferson Clinton
12:00 • How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers – Howard Dean & Rosie O’Donnell
12:15 am • ‘Truth in Broadcasting Award’ – presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am • Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am • Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am • Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez to the departure of ‘The Great Satan’, ‘W Bush’
12:55 am • Hillary proposes a toast to our 89 million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to the extinction of the Republican party
1:05 am • Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am • Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am • Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home
1:36 am • Hillary asks Ted Kennedy to drive Obama home
1:45 am • End of Nation